Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Its Only Life

Tears are forming in your eyes
A storm is warning in the sky
The end of the world, it seems
You're bent down, and fall on your knees
Well get back on your feet
Don't look away
Don't lose your faith
Baby, its only life
You were always playing hard
But you never let down your guard
Oh, but you can't win, if you never give in.
I'll be your stepping stone, don't be so alone.

more

a laugh
a wink
a smile
a blush
stories told
secrets spilled
memories made
painted into time
carved into our minds
impossible to forget
can't let go
there's no chance for
fresh starts
no erasing the past
it is written
change doesn't happen
and if it does
it won't be believed
a grin
a giggle
a shhh
a whisper

it is written.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

poems

You asked me what was wrong
So I smiled simply
And said nothing.
But when you turned back around,
Obviously pleased with yourself,
I felt like a puzzle piece
That didn't quite fit
Like a train
That had almost been hit
My throat was dry
My head was heavy
Thoughts a blur
But all I knew
Was that I had lied
It wasn't nothing.
It was everything.

Friday, April 3, 2009

From my POV...

I think that the word sorry is bullshit. Like about 90% of the time the person isn't ACTUALLY sorry, and like even if they are that doesn't mean its gonna change. I hate it. I might actually like kill the next person who tells me they're sorry. And I can tell from the first minute, when you're sorry and when you're not. I'm just good at reading people. 

Good things? Hoooo hummm...well I don't know. There are a few people that I'll like always trust and love no matter what they do to me. And I'm just now finding out that those people are completely different from who I thought they were. Which makes me...unsure. Of a lot of things. It's a little frustrating, sure, but at least now I know. And even if those people don't feel the same, it doesn't matter. 'Course, maybe thats just me PMSing...?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

So cin's making me do this

today....what did i do?

i ate a breakfast of two crumpets and a mango.
i then went to school and did school stuff
we had STRIKINGGG VIKINGGG
i listened to victor be a perv
i ate a lunch of a sandwich and apple cider from murrays
i saw my creepy tutor.
i listened to victor be more of a perv
i went to math class
i went to core class
i went on meebo during core class
victor started a discussion with me and while talking to him i was typing to ruby on IM
i doodled on talianas doodle
i got talianas doodle taken away
taliana yelled at me (not really but...)
i made excuses to get out of play practice
i came home
i did stuff.

and thats it.

progressive learning, anyone?

xoxo

Cat
P.S. Happy April Fools Day

Monday, March 30, 2009

Face To Face

Sienna noticed one washed up student leaning against the school wall. He reached in the pocket of his baggy jeans. "Lucy, quick. Hand me your revolver. Now." Sienna said through gritted teeth. It was gently slipped it into Siennas open hand. As soon as she saw the mystery student pull a pair of handcuffs out, she shot. Silencers on, not a trace or a fingerprint. She dropped the gun and sprinted back to her Vespa. So did Lucy. They skipped school that day. And Lucy never found out why exactly Sienna shot that bullet. But it changed their lives forever. And, six years later, here's their story.

Lucy's green eyes fluttered as she stuck her fake eyelashes on. And, in hopes of bringing out her new tan, she gently dusted her bony shoulders with gold powder. She had just returned from St. Barts on a honeymoon. It had been 6 years since that fateful May morning, and she had long forgotten almost everything about her senior year. With the exception of one thing. A small sigh escaped her lips, and put her blush brush down. Lucy leaned forward, looking at her reflection in the giant vanity. What had happened that day, she didn't really know. But she did know that her guilt would never be lifted until she turned herself in. Which, being a FBI agent, a wife, and a volunteer at the Salvation Army, she couldn't bring herself to do. Too many people were relying on her. Besides, it wasn't as if she had actually done anything. It was Sienna who had shot the gun. Of course, Lucy knew she was lying to herself by thinking this, but it was okay to pretend. But, she needed to know some things. So she threw the essentials in a Balenciaga bag, and jogged outside. It was early August. She took a taxi to her office, and entered the building. Lucy went over to her desk, and powered up her iMac. She ran a quick background search on Sienna Jade Holman in the city of New York. There were 6. "Fuck." said Lucy. "Six." Her thoughts immediately flashed back to the image of the narc sliding down the wall, in his last breath, and hobbling away with Sienna, beyond confused. She sighed, scrawling the six addresses on a crumpled cocktail napkin in sharpie. Lucy tucked the napkin away, and left the building.

The bed creaked as Sienna flopped over, and shut her eyes, amber-colored hair spread around her like a fan. Her manicured hands fumbled around on the messy night table for the tea plate she used for her crack parties. When she felt it, she put it on the hot pink bedspread, and winked at the naked stranger next to her. As a pinch of the white powder went up her nose, she sighed contentedly, and laid back down on the crumpled sheets, falling asleep quickly. A few hours later, she heard a knock at her door. Sienna smoothed her hair, slid on her robe, and put the plate of cocaine in the drawer. She giggled lightly at the sight of, oh, what was his name again, laying on the bed, snoring profusely. She made her way through the loft, making a mental note to get some sort of cleaning service soon, and opened the heavy door, peeking her head around. "Hi, who are you?" she asked. "Oh, wait, shit, don't tell me. You're that girl from West Bev High, something with an L...Lucy, right? I remember you! Haha, so what's up, doll?" "Um, yeah, hi. Nothing much. I just need to talk you about something. Are you busy?" Lucy asked shyly. "A bit...sorry." Sienna glanced at the stranger who rolled over and grunted loudly. "Oh!" Lucy turned red. "Well, I'd love to meet with you sometime...here's my card. Call me anytime." she smiled embarrassedly and left. Staring at the closed door, Sienna was confused as to why Lucy had shown up, and how she had found her. She shook her messy hair, forgetting these thoughts for a minute. She had more important things to worry about. Like, how to find out what the weird Owen Wilson look-alike was named, and what had happened last night. God, she was a mess. She sighed, and climbed back into bed.

Lucy left the building, feeling strangely disappointed. She had hoped for an explanation, a discussion, and some kind of reunion. She had gotten none of these things, unfortunately. She sighed, and went back to her apartment.

Three days later, Sienna emerged from the downtown Barneys, shopping bags swinging in her manicured hands. She slid her aviators on, and started walking down the narrow sidewalk, when all of a sudden, a huge gust of wind rushed by, blowing her into a stranger behind her. She turned red, and gathered her stuff, staring at the ground. "Sorry." She murmured. When she had all her stuff together, she turned to walk away, but not before catching a glimpse of the stranger on the street. She raised her sunglasses, perching them on her forehead. "Oh, hey. Whats up?" she said to her old drug dealer, from high school. "Um, nothing much." The sketchy-looking mess replied, pulling a dirty grey hood over her brown pixie cut. "Actually, I have to go...see ya around?" She turned to leave, when Lucy walked by. "Haha, well isn't this a cliché?" laughed Sienna. "Hey Luce, whats up? Remember.....Jamie? She used to sell us that sweet coke shit in high school." she said, laughing again. Her chuckles quickly dissolved into wheezing, and then coughing. Lucy took a deep breath. "Oh." She fought the urge to slap two pairs of handcuffs on the two, obviously both still on drugs. Running her fingers through her freshly blown out blonde hair, she decided to ask Sienna if she wanted to sit down at the bustling café next door and talk. The short girl, (Jamie, was it?) had vanished.

Lucy took a sip of her latte. "So. What have you been up to since senior year?" "Oh, nothing much. I worked on some art pieces, but that kind of flopped. I was pretty beast at it, though. I should start again. How 'bout you, doll?" Lucy smiled tightly. "Well..." she wasn't going to lie. "I've been working for the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and I just returned from my honeymoon. It was quite a trip." she said. Sienna just stared at her. "Thats...cool. Um, I have to go soon," she said, pretending to read a text. "Oh, wait, I have something I'd like to ask you before you disappear again. Its about that day, when we were juniors. I never really understood what that whole fiasco. It was about the drugs...but I always felt like there was something else. Is there?" Sienna turned red again. "Um, sorry, I'd love to stay and chat, but I can't." And with that, she melted into the crowd and was gone, leaving Lucy alone with the bill.